*alil love*

This post comes from the depth and i dedicate this for once to everyone that reads this...

What do i call the feeling that makes one do stupid things, he tries so hard to make her happy but it all falls back on him, what than do u call the emotion when she doesnt feel anything back towards him? Is this love?

What do you call undyingly professing your love for someone, calling him your husband and showering him with every inch of love you have yet theres still something lacking? Is this love?

What do you say is the paradox of loving someone so much but not being to trust them, not able to just fall into their hands and let them catch you? Is this love?

What then is the pain that a guy feels going to work everyday seeing the girl he loves pine about someone else, watch as he tries to free her from the pain she herself feels neglecting the hurt he feels inside? Is this love?

How do you tell the one who hates you so much that you love her so much? How do you tell her i've made mistakes in the past yet i know i can be better, and i will be better coz you make me better? Is this love?

How do you go about your life after spending four years with someone in your every step and they just one day disappear? The lil something missing makes your whole life lackin, how do you fill it? Is this love?

How do you tell the one that loves you that you do no love them despite loving them? How do you tell the one loving you so much that i can be trusted, i will wipe your tears? Is this love?

I always thought i knew love, i am no hitch but i am always there with suitable answers for those dwelling in loves clutches, i know the symptoms i see the clarity behind the mist,yet when it came to my own love, i fumble, i make the very mistakes i warn others not to make...i have this ability to connect with people understand the inner self of their feelings, yet i am also one who is always misunderstood...Ironical this irony we call life...I tend to harp alot on love, i dream, eat, sleep and wish only for love for these 20 mere years of existense, yet all i get in return is loves rival pain..I am no coward to run, i am merely breathless in this race, i have no strength to run anymore, the water i drink doesnt quench the thirst...Issit safe to say i can never love again? I know not what my future holds, i do know what my past was and how near the mistakes i made seem...I am what i am, and regrets are all i have to bring into the future.. I do not want to volunteer my help anymore, i seem to be the one who is too zealous to help, issit right to say i am blessed with a curse? but true enough blessed with the curse to feel more than the average man...I am not emo, no black nails and heavy metal for me and i will not be cutting myself...I am just someone who sees the pain in people like a reflection and i feel it with you...I did not ask for this yet i feel the same nonetheless..Seek me when you do need me, i swear my shoulders is always strong enough to carry you...I dedicate this to everyone and anyone yet there is one i hope reads this more than any other one.....

I see alot of hate for me, i practise love and yet i seem to receive its brother instead...I do have my flaws and like my emotions i tend to have them more than the average man...i do not forget any insult that ones hurls on me, it stings and the words echo each day i wake,i lack in confidence and morale not by birth like i always say but by these echoes, a single word meant to bring me down never leaves and each day i hear them taunting me telling me the things my loved ones said to me..beneath the spiked hair and the masked arrogance is a young man afraid to take another step in the fear of hurting another one, yet i do not hold the lines of fate that threw me here...I am sorry for my flaws and i do not mean to hurt anyone with the things i say or do yet time does not erase..i am sorry to each and everyone of you, hate me if it makes you feel better, but do try to forgive me, because beneath me is a heart that hurts too like each and every one of you..

God Bless,
MeL